Black Lives Matter
IMG DESCR: Subway stairs with graffitied walls and Black Lives Matter poster
"Black Lives Matter" by astra.bakerly is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Earlier this month my family and I marched in memory of George Floyd and his last words, "Mama." There were about 300 of us, mostly folks from our Oakland neighborhood. We all wore masks and social-distanced ourselves. Most of us had signs. Prompted by a woman at the front in a "Black Lawyers Matter" t-shirt, we chanted, "Say their names!" and "No justice, no peace!" along with "Black Lives Matter!" At the busy stoplight between Rockridge and Temescal neighborhoods, we broke into four corners for eight minutes and 43 seconds of silence. My family and I took a knee.
As we marched, I knew there would be no police to throw tear gas at us. I knew that there would be no disrupters. I am ashamed to admit that the tone was almost jovial. For many of us, it was our first public congregation since the shelter-in-place order on March 16. For the first time in months we were seeing friends and neighbors we used to see everyday. We still marched, shouted, and knelt, but the social aspect overshadowed any outrage we might have felt.
I'm still parsing the significance of this privileged protest. It takes courage to stand up to a prevailing white supremacist ideology. But we did not have to display any bravery at all. No bullies, rubber bullets, or even opposing viewpoints. The message had become mainstream.
It was also a mirror to me. That I am comfortable enough to wait until it's safe before I speak out. I need to change this.
Very often I sit back. My brownness has given me a smug sense that the anti-racism work is not my work. I hide behind my privilege when it suits me. I didn't choose the POC label. It was applied to me by others and I have taken it to mean that I don't have work to do. That has to change. I need to change.
So for the present, I'm stepping back, shutting up. I'm listening. I'm watching. In doing so, I've come across these questions for myself that I don't even know how to answer (taken from Donald Byrd and Spectrum Dance Theater)
What am I DOING to move the needle forward toward racial equality?
What am I DOING to dismantle racism and White supremacy?
Do I think that I need to DO something?
If I think that I am already DOING, do I think that is enough?
Do I want to begin to, or DO more to, end the violence directed towards Black and Brown people?
What am I PERSONALLY going to give up to dismantle White supremacy?
I've got my homework cut out for me. I can't be indignant about racism only when it is convenient.